Latest Results from Rock ‘n’ Roll USA

After his late Friday evening escapades in the Wizards players lounge, our roving sports reporter, Colin Fishwick, calls this in from the streets, while observing the 2013 Rock ‘n’ Roll USA Marathon and Half Marathon:

Just watched Max L run by at 16m. An unstoppable tank of a man. (9:14 AM)
Just saw Julia …looking smooth. Ideal conditions, but very sparse up front. Leader came through 15m ~1:24:30 and Wardian was a full two min behind. Then lonely nothing. (9:38AM)

Late breaking results from both races are summarized below. Continue reading

The Masterson Uncertainty Principle

“The more precisely the position of some runner is determined, the less precisely his or her momentum can be known, and vice versa.” *

This is to follow up on my earlier post, where I promised “intimate and exclusive details on Kirk’s quantum leap forward” in racing. How I came to know such details is no great secret—I texted Kirk after the standard Sunday Distance Run, inviting him to “tell me a story.” From a volley of twelve replies, squeezed off like illegal ordnance from his iPhone, I felt the notion that maybe, perhaps, our guy had something to say for himself.

So I made plans to call Kirk in the afternoon. We talked shop for almost an hour, reviewed how his streak of successes has come together, and made some predictions about where this might be leading. Continue reading

So! You want to be in movies?

Do you? Do you? The Washington Running Club is a good looking bunch, especially in our skin tight and flashy running clothes. Apparently, there is a casting call for US.

HBO’s series, VEEP, starring Julia Louis Dreyfus (and yes, she will be there) is filming a scene requiring a large number of runners. The shoot will be on Wednesday, March 20th in Baltimore, MD.

If you are interested, you need to be available ALL day. You will be PAID $75 (and thus be a professional actor or model). You need to supply your own running gear and do your own makeup. I recommend waterproof mascara. Ask Christine.

Contact Emily at Pat Moran Talent Agency at 410-558-0400. She is super nice.

Or you can email with your age, your contact information and a cute photo.

Lights! Camera! Action! That sounds almost as good as ready, set, go!

The Hunter, the Grande Dame, and our Transcendental President

The club enjoyed a windfall of great results, on an idyllic Sunday morning best suited for running far, fast, or both.

2013 Fort Hunt 10K
Sunday, 10 March 2013 08:00, Fort Hunt Park, Alexandria, VA
1 Daniel Yi M 32 Alexandria VA	36:18  36:18 1 1

St. Patrick's Day 8K (WRC 2013 Grand Prix Race)
Washington, DC, Mar 10, 2013 9:00 AM
Kirk Masterson 27:24 27 26
Geoff King 28:13 35 33
Elyse Braner 31:50 114 19
Christine Hackman 36:24 317 63

Dan Yi, already known in certain circles as an apex predator, proves himself to be THE dominant hunter. Christine Hackman extends her lead in the 2013 Grand Prix by dialing up the level of age-adjusted quality she brings to the game. El Presidente, Kirk Masterson, transcended himself with a massive personal best. And Geoff and Elyse hone their skills in preparation for next month’s Cherry Blossom 10M, where the club will be fielding six teams.

Stay tuned to this post for intimate and exclusive details on Kirk’s quantum leap forward, coming soon. Update: the follow up is finally available here.

Club Neutralizes Sequester with New Stimulus Plan

In a surprise move this afternoon, the Washington Running Club Reserve Bank (WRC-RB) lowered key interest rates on oxygen debt and unilaterally raised aerobic thresholds for its entire membership, effective immediately. The Bourse was caught unprepared for this development, and gossip volumes ticked upwards.

The bank’s Board of Governors explained their decision as a “necessary, direct, and proportional response” to the grave dangers posed by the painful Sequester, including furloughs, excess free time spent aimlessly loafing between coffee shops and watering holes, an increased access to daylight, and other miscellaneous forms of obstructionism.
Continue reading