Club Neutralizes Sequester with New Stimulus Plan

In a surprise move this afternoon, the Washington Running Club Reserve Bank (WRC-RB) lowered key interest rates on oxygen debt and unilaterally raised aerobic thresholds for its entire membership, effective immediately. The Bourse was caught unprepared for this development, and gossip volumes ticked upwards.

The bank’s Board of Governors explained their decision as a “necessary, direct, and proportional response” to the grave dangers posed by the painful Sequester, including furloughs, excess free time spent aimlessly loafing between coffee shops and watering holes, an increased access to daylight, and other miscellaneous forms of obstructionism.
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A Supposedly Tough Thing I’ll Probably Do All Over Again

Yes, we have most definitely relaunched, as part of a broader communications effort this year: to share this club’s marvelous history across the past four decades, to enhance our ability to take on new running challenges, and to accelerate the telling of new and exciting stories. Allow me to point out a couple of new features and design choices that will hopefully work toward those ends!
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Last chance to order your WRC racing apparel!

Order by Friday June 22

WRC is creating singlets so we can look just as impressive as our race results. Both the men’s and women’s singlets are sleek, lightweight, and bright yellow. The artwork, printed with dark blue ink, will be similar to that used for previous versions of WRC apparel. Take a look at the designs for the front and back.

WRC is subsidizing the singlets, so each one will cost you just $15. Once we have everyone’s requests, we’ll place an order with our distributor and screen printer. So don’t miss out!

To order your singlet(s), please fill out this simple online form. Please note that the original email said the men’s singlets would be Brooks brand; we’re now using Nike as you can see in the above link.

Respond to this email with any questions! This is your last chance to pre-order, so please fill out the online form by Friday June 22. Thanks!